But smiling. I’m always, but smiling. I’ve left the world where there were birthday parties and smiling babies. I didn’t leave because I wanted to; the earth just tilted that way, and I scrambled to stay where I was, but I slid down the deck, the world of babies and parties shrinking into nothing. And when I finally hit the bottom, it was a different world. It was more real, but it did not have the colorful charm of the old world I knew. And my skin is different here, and my hair is long, and my name is new. And the old world is starting to seem just as much of a dream as this world once was. I don’t have much here, but things are always ok. They never crash, they only bounce and settle. People here are much more warm and they smile and hug with sincerity. I can’t help thinking about the old dream world from which I slid away, the world of loud families where I was really but a ghost. Will I ever go back to that dreamworld? Only as a visitor, yes. Sometime.